


Lets Say Goodbye, The Hundredth Time

by sdeubanks



Series: The Ghost of You [3]
Category: Original Work
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-01
Updated: 2016-06-25
Packaged: 2018-07-11 16:03:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7059634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sdeubanks/pseuds/sdeubanks





	1. 2010

“So, I'll text you when I get there.”

I toyed with the hem of my shirt, staring at the laces of his shoes,

“Sure,” A sigh.

“Are you sure about this Ez?” I looked up only to immediately look away,

“Yes. I think it is for the best. We can't make each other happy,”

“I can't make you happy you mean.” My hands curled into fists,

“I just want more than what you can give me.”

“When did I stop being enough?”

“Jesus Frank,”

“What? You can't expect me just to leave without fighting for us, for you.”

            I finally look him in the eye, “I'm tired of fighting. We fight about everything.”

“We challenge each other, it's healthy.”

“Well consider this my white flag.”

“Do you not love me anymore?”

            I felt my stomach clench like a sucker punch. I flexed my fingers, “You should go,”

“Answer the question.” Frank's eyes were desperate, “Ezra...” He took a hesitant step forward.

“Please leave.”

            He deflated visibly, “Fine. Whatever you want. I'll text when I get to the hotel. I love you.”

He picked up his duffel and turned away. I shoved my fist into my mouth as I sank to my knees to stop from crying out. With muffled sobs I rocked against the end of the bed as the sound of his car backing out of the driveway faded. My cat Casper found me on the floor a while later and curled up against me, purring. My phone chimed on the nightstand. I ignored it. Sometime later it chimed again, then began to buzz. I didn't move from the floor. Knocking on the front door made me sit up. I scrubbed my face with the back of my hand as Stella unlocked it with her key and came into the house calling out my name. She found me easily. She stood in the door, phone in one hand, keys in the other, just waiting. I took a deep breath,

“Frank and I have decided to split up. He just moved out.”


	2. Chapter 2

It started when my mother died, my real mother. It was four years after Frank and I had gotten married. I hadn't seen her in a long time. We had just never kept in touch since John's death. I got the call from county hospital while I was at work. Frank was on tour at the time, the band was going strong, having just released their fourth album. They said my mother had a severe case of pneumonia and that I should hurry.

She didn't last the thirty minutes it took me to get there.

            I called Frank first, then Stella, who was also on tour, then Eliza. She was the one who helped me make the plans. I had my mother cremated and I got permission to spread her ashes at the beach, one of her favorite places when my father was still alive. Frank took a red eye flight from Nevada and got come around three a.m. the morning after.

            “Ez...”

I rolled over to see Frank hesitating in the doorway.

“Hi,” I whispered and he crawled into bed, pulling me against him,

“I'm so sorry baby,” I held onto him, shuddering.

He shushed and murmured to me for an hour until I got it all out. I stilled and he turned me to face him, “I love you Ezra Isle.”

I tucked my head under his chin, “I love you too.”

           

The next morning Frank made me eggs and toast that I barely picked at. After hovering for a while he went into the bedroom and came back with a pack of cigarettes,

“Just this once,”

We had made a pact to quit a year before. We went outside to the fire pit and lit up. My hands felt less shaky after the first few drags. I pushed my hair from my face and took a deep breath,

“I want a baby.”

            Frank tensed, “Ez-”

“We've been married four years Frank. I'm nearly thirty years old.”

“I know honey.”

“Maybe after this tour we could try. I mean just stop not trying to have one. It could work.”

“And what about when I go on tour again? When you get sick or need the hospital and I'm in Europe?”

“I can handle it,”

“You shouldn't have to raise a baby alone.”

“Well it's not like I can ask you to quit the band. I'm trying to be fair Frank.”

“Well you aren't okay?”

            I stared, “Excuse me?” He ran a hand through his hair,

“I know how much this means to you Ez, I really do. Don't you think it kills me that I can't give you this? I couldn't five years ago and I still can't now.”

            I scoff and put out my cigarette, “It’s Michelle isn't it? You're still paranoid about me miscarrying.”

“Don't you dare,” He turned away,

“Michelle had an accident Frank.”

“It was my fault.”

“Frank,”

“No, Ezra. It was my fault and I will be damned if I let it happen to you too. You mean too much to me.”

            I threw up my hands, “You can't protect me from everything Isle. This is something that I want.”

“No.”

“You can't just veto something because you are scared. We need to talk about this.”

            Frank closed the space between us, “I said no Ezmarelda.”

I took a step back, shocked.

“Ever?”

“No. I will never have a child. I love you more than I could ever say, but I cannot and will not give you one.”

 

            He gave me Casper two days later before he left for the airport. I hadn't spoken to him since the cigarette.

            “Ez?”

            I looked up from my computer and gasped. Frank had the most perfect rag doll kitten in his arms. I scooted back from the desk and ran to him, scooping the kitty up.

“Oh my god Frank he is adorable.”

He grinned, “I'm glad you like him, I named him Casper cause of his ghost eyes.”

I chuckled and snuggled the kitten to my chest. Frank slid his knuckled across my cheek, “I love you Ezra.”


End file.
